Running and Tennis

I started my training today with tennis.  Something a little lighter, a little less draggy, a little more fun. My good friends are always here to my rescue.  Monday tennis, woo!

Life is crazy.  That pretty much sums it all up.  I just got home yesterday after a long, happy, depressing, fattening, nice, tiring, 4 day weekend.  I'm never going to forget its events, and I'm slowly but surely growing and making the necessary changes that are needed in my life.  It was definitely a wake up call.  And if there's anything I learned:

1.   I definitely can't do anything on my own, as much as I think I can.  

2.  I'm so much weaker than I thought I was, or at least.. not as strong as I thought I was.  (Yes, there is a difference.)

3.  When you've reached your lowest point, there really is no where to go but back up.  And lastly, 

4.  I realized how important it is to accept defeat.  

We are definitely given a lot, and when things get taken away it seems so sucky.  But really, these things might just be exactly what we need for the time being.  We just don't want to believe it.  Or at least, I didn't.

I'm hoping for a lot of things but trying not to expect things.  I'm better than the person I was yesterday.  I'm awesome sometimes, and sometimes I'm a rah-tard.  Heh Heh.

Someday I'll make whoever really happy. I know it. I'm really not that bad.

And:  I'm still going with the flow.  I just need to... eliminate all feelings! Okay - she's back.

What's going on here?

It's like, I think I know what I need to do, but it won't let me do what I think I need to do! Wtfx!

Just a little longer

But can a little longer, be a little shorter?

The agonyyy!!!!

No one ever said it would be easy

But I can handle it.

I'm still too hopeful.  It's probably because - every time I think I see what's coming, which is usually for the worst, things turn around.  I always get proven wrong, for the better.

Please don't take this from me.

Fuck.

-_-

My meter is filling

You know, the one that I got rid of a few months ago?  It's filling again.

As of lately, my insides are going crazy.

So, here's the deal:

1.  I just keeping wanting more/too much, or:

2.  What I'm getting is decreasing

At this point, I'm not even really sure

Check this gun show:

Hah.

Finals are finally over - thank God! The semesters are going by fast, and I'm loving it. Just anticipating grades, but hopeful. Hopeful about a lot of things.