Feeling dry

I try to remember that this phase is only temporary. I try to remember that I need to be way thankful for things that I have. I try to remember that really isn't that bad. I try to remember that God is amazing and that I should happy nonetheless, because he my only prize.

Typing that... helped me remember a good deal.

God is amazing, and I'm glad I have Him. But I'm over the shadyness, I'm over the behind-your-back schemes. Yes, I'm a hypocrite. But I'm stepping out of it, I stepped out of it a long time ago. I'm tired of all the sensitivity and the senselessness.

At some point you get worn out. At some point you get tired of trying to bring anything together. At some point you start to look desperate. It's time like this when you really do realize that you can never count on people. People always let you down.

I don't feel bad. Because I know that I did everything I could.

fuhhhh

i was fine before you guys said anything!
whyd you have to say something!
fuck you guys!

I'm weak. I want to know.

I'd ask you, "how can you be so blind?" but I know you see it, I know you do. I'm not the only one who sees it, everyone sees it, even you.

How can you not want this? We're perfect for each other.

Kat...

Stop trusting yourself
and trust God

Stop wanting what you want so badly
and let God give you what you need

Stop expecting anything
Because you'll get it all when you least expect it

From now on, no matter how bad you want it to happen, just let God take the lead, and take his hand